Everyone Has Their Own Personal Space
It is evident that this man is not inviting people into his personal space! The arms across his chest is a strong and frequent body language cue saying: "Don't come close!" "Stay away from me!" "I don't want to deal with any of you and especially not to get personally close!" "I just want to stay in my own little safe world."
The widely spaced feet indicate solid placement so no one can push him or move him. No one can change his mind, manipulate him, or influence him in any way. He is "planted" right where he is, mentally and physically, and is not going to change anything in his life right now.
Invading Other's Personal Space Is Dangerous
When two animals or humans each believe they are dominant over the other, and one enters the personal space of the other, that is grounds for immediate confrontation to determine who really is "top dog". This is done mostly unconsciously and the body may even go into an attack positon to scare off the invader. Where the rank of each individual is clearly delineated (such as in the military where rank is clearly displayed on the uniform) there is no problem with who gets the most territory (the higher rank). This is also true in the corporate world where the higher the rank in the organization, the larger is the office, work space, parking place, etc. How much space is actually required has little to do with how much is allotted to the person.
The personal space between two people talking reveals a lot about their relationship and type of discussion. The dominant person is immediately evident by how much personal space is controlled and used. The dominant person even has the privilege of entering the less dominant person's space without their permission, but not so the other way around. At the right, notice that the man in red has his arms extended out to occupy more space toward the other man. The man in white is allowing the man in red to enter his personal space by folding his arms and thereby is occupying a smaller space. However, the man in white is bracing and holding his ground by placing his feet a bit wider for more stability. The man in red is clearly the dominant one.
Personal Space Size Reveals One's Status
The larger amount of space claimed by the rich and high status people in a community is clearly evident in their larger homes, yards, cars, garages, offices, etc. The lower in status and rank a person is, the less space they command and control in every aspect of their life. People struggling for a higher status position in their life often do so unconsciously by trying to increase their physical territory with bigger objects such as larger cars, houses, yards, etc. This need for high status may be so strong that people go into great debt to buy larger possessions in an attempt to demonstrate their higher status. Research Learn More . . .
Next time you meet someone let them establish how close they stand or sit with you. This distance will clearly indicate how they feel about their relationship with you. When you are flirting or dating an important clue to how the relationship is progressing is the distance your partner chooses to sit or stand from you. Pay particular attention to both the distance and the body posture mirroring.
You Are Invading Someone's Space if They . . .
- Rock back in chair creating more space between you both.
- Pull the chin into the chest and hunch their shoulders.
- Close their eyes when you are talking to them.
- Look past you at others behind you.
- Tap fingers and/or swing leg.
- Fold their arms across chest.
- Back away.
Someone is Comfortable with You When They . . .
- Look into your eyes as you talk with each other.
- Reposition body posture to mirror your body posture.
- Open their eye pupil so it looks larger than normal.
- Hold their hand palms often up and open toward you.
- Often make little head nods when they agree with what you say.
- Make face relaxed, yet often show expressions of joy and smile.
Personal Space in Relationships
Intimate relationships are clearly evident by observing body language and the personal space. Just watch two young people talking and flirting and you will see their bodies often jousting, teasing and dancing with each other at the same time they are discussing some arcane subject. Personal space will be very close. Most of this delightful active body language is unconscious but nonetheless is more revealing about their actual relationship than are the words they speak.
If you want to really understand the relationship between two people just study their ongoing body language.
