Now the Real Fun Begins
At this point it is appropriate for the man to establish an intent to further the budding relationship. He does this normally by inviting the woman to an activity in the future and at another place. The type of activities you two might engage in is endless, so the choices are what has to be sorted out in the data gathering process.
When Does Kissing Start?
There is a time when you should kiss as a way of establishing a very close relationship and personal bond. (A kiss is just another way of touching. A really nice way!) Some people have screwed up the flirting game with guidance and rules that are all useless, impractical and mostly unworkable concerning the right time and place for the first kiss - or not to kiss.
When you (the man) see that she is open to you coming completely into her personal space and you want to send her a signal that you desire her - then take the risk and kiss her. If your timing, her mood and the environment are all right (they are all very important to a woman's brain at this point), then your kiss will make her feel fantastic! That first kiss is truly a thrill because both of you will have a surge of hormones blasting out of the brain to all parts of your body. Both of your bodies will speed-up the limbic system that controls bodily functions like breathing, pulse, perspiration and mating. She will even look, taste, smell and feel better to you because some of the brain chemicals will change your perception of reality. That is called "love" by most people - and "lust" by others. (Isn't it interesting how bad a past lover sometimes looks after a breakup and you return to normal reality!) Background Learn More . . .
Where You Go From Here
Humans (primarily men) in leadership positions throughout history have complicated the final mating process with numerous different rules about how two people may form a pair bond and raise a family, which is really the purpose of all this flirting and dating. Different cultures and religions have tried to control how the mating is done for the maximum benefit to the whole tribe, community, or culture. Often, the cultural "rules" violate all natural inclinations and destroy the ultimate beauty of the natural mating process.
Therefore the actual mating experience from this point on is highly influenced by each person's background, family training, education, religion and street lessons. Generally, in most western cultures, at this early point in this beginning relationship the two people just agree that they want to explore each other more.
The process that humans have evolved for further exploration is called "dating" or "courting". That means more outings together and further exchange of talk and general enjoyment of being close and compatible. Whether or not the two participate in sex is the woman's choice. That is her right to decide to let you in. Men must court and women will select a mate based on their personal criteria.
When Reality Becomes Evident
Usually the real-life decision for continuing the relationship is based on the "bottom line": costs versus rewards. Are both partners contributing equally to the relationship and life together? Are the rewards equal and fair for both? If the costs versus rewards ratio is unfair, over the long run the stress and resentment will destroy the relationship. In a marriage it can cause daily emotional discomfort and possibly eventual disease and an early death.Research Learn More . . .
If both partners get what they want from each other, life can be fantastic together! That extraordinary appreciation and satisfaction with each other in making life work is generally called "love". Most people are seeking a mate to make that happen and it can start with Step 1 of the 5 steps in flirting, dating, and mating.
PICTURES of body language in flirting steps.
| Step 1 | Step 2 | Step 3 | Step 4 |
Step 5 (You are here.) |
