Below are some snapshots taken from a video of two people rehearsing for a theater play. Although they are actors, their bodies were sending real body language messages when they assumed the roles of the characters in the play.
[NOTE: Clicking on the image will show a larger view if you wish to study it. Use the 'Back' button to get back to this page.]
Scene 1:
Young man observes unknown woman looking at him with interest so he walks to her table, smiles and requests to join her.
She answers, "OK" and nods at the empty chair.
He sits down at her table with his drink and says, "Hi, my name is Chris. Thanks for letting me join you. What is your name?"
She replies, "Samantha" and stares at her drink.
He says, "I noticed you when you came in. Do you come here often?"
She replies, "No, this is my first time here. I just came in to get a drink."
Analysis of his body language, Scene 1:
(1) He is leaning slightly forward with feet flat on the floor.
Approaching a strange woman in a public place is a very tense situation for a man because he feels everyone is watching to see if he is going to fail or succeed in his 'hunting'. If she rejects him he feels every woman there will see him as a 'loser' and a 'reject' that no woman will want to be seen with later. This is very ancient DNA programming and 'male stuff' going on in him. All men have this. So as he sits down he is not fully relaxed in the chair and is ready to either stay or to get up and leave immediately. If he does not look too intent on approaching her, then in case she rejects him the rejection and embarrassment won't be so devastating. He must tread easy and not appear too anxious to come closer unless invited by her body language.
(2)His face is looking directly at her face but the rest of his body is turned away.
He is uncertain how welcome he is in her personal space so he is looking for clues on how he has been accepted -- or rejected. Only his face is directly facing her so it shows he is not very connected to her yet and has not fully come in to her personal space. She is not looking at him so he is aware that he must not approach her any closer for now.
(3) His right hand is on his right knee and below the table.
His hand on knee provides a feeling of supporting self at an awkward time.
(4) Left arm is on table, folded in across belly with hand below table out of her sight.
His elbow is holding partial weight of upper body at a time he feels awkward and everything may collapse. Left arm across belly gives a little feeling of protection. Hands are below the table indicating he is not revealing his full intentions.
Analysis of her body language, Scene 1:
(1) She is not looking him in the face or eyes and instead she is focused on her glass.
Her short answer to his question was not honest and she can't look him in the eye. She lied about why she came in here and she lied about her name.
(2) She is not leaning toward him and is leaning back as far as the chair allows.
She is not going to be forward and immediately open to his advances, even though she previously gave him a long eye contact that attracted his attention enough for him to approach her. For now she is being reserved and is not going to show much interest until she finds out more about him. Both know the flirting game requires that the male be the pursuer and that he take the lead and 'court' the female. She will decide how far the relationship will proceed based on how well he does his role in courting her. At any time she has the power to accept him emotionally and physically closer into a continuing relationship, or totally reject him. And he knows this, too!
(3) Her feet are pulled back under her chair.
She is leaning back as far as the chair allows in order to keep her distance from him.
(4) Her left hand is slightly closed and on her lap below the table.
Her slightly closed palm placed strategically there in her lap gives her a little feeling of sexual defense. Her hand below the table gives her a feeling of less exposure because she is not revealing her full intentions. From an old saying in card games: "She doesn't have all her cards showing" or "She is not showing her hand".
Also much like cards, our hands have a back and a front (the palm). We are unconsciously aware that hiding our palms hides our secrets. Only when we feel really safe and willing to expose ourselves to others do we unconsciously show our palms freely.
|
Scene 1 (You are here.) |
Go to Scene 2. | Scene 3 | Scene 4 | Scene 5 |