A true smile of happiness, gladness, or joy shows up in two areas of the face:
- The corners of the mouth curve upward and outward. The bigger the smile the more the teeth show and may even part with the jaw dropped.
- Also the outer corners of the eyes crinkle into 'crow's-feet'. These small lines are made by muscles that can not be consciously controlled, therefore a fake smile does not have these lines.
We may show a polite grin or 'camera smile' (Say, "Cheese!") at will, but the heartfelt real smile is hard to produce on demand because it requires and is controlled by emotion. Thus, the real smile (with both the mouth and eye areas activated) is a more accurate reflection of mood. In the polite or 'false' smile, the lip corners stretch sideward with little upward curl and there are no visible crow's-feet at the corners of the eyes.
The smile face can be traced back to our ancestors, the primates, who still display a wide variety of facial expressions, including the grimace or fear grin and the submissive grin used to show "I am afraid." These expressions evolved into the human smile that now suggests that "I am harmless, friendly and happy to be with you." The smile is used all over the world to indicate pleasure and happiness. Even people who were born blind and have never seen a smile on others display a smile when they are happy and pleased.
A consciously formed smile produced only a weak feeling of happiness in laboratory-controlled experiments, but the opposite was produced by a frown. Even a forced frown produced a feeling of sadness. It is also evident that your smile will bring a smile to those you meet. Therefore, the smile is used to affect how others feel. When someone is sad, we often give them a big smile and tell them, "Don't cry, everything is going to be alright."
A real smile says, "I like you. I am happy to see you." A smile is a very powerful tool for flirting. A woman's smile, with eye contact, is seen by a man as an immediate invitation for much more closeness. That is a signal programmed in to his old brain limbic system and he can't ignore it. Whether he wants to or not, his brain will change his body chemicals to start getting ready for action.
When a woman sends that warm and inviting smile to a male stranger she may see a confused look on his face, or at least a strained return smile. That is because he must instantly deal with two messages: one from his body and one from his conscious mind. His body starts revving up for action as the old brain instantly kick-starts it with a flood of hormones. Lab research reveals that many chemical changes take place in a man's body without him noticing when he looks at a picture of a female smiling! It is true, a healthy young man's body is designed to go into action when he sees a female smiling at him. That is what worked best for his ancient ancestors and it still works today.
However, in our modern world some opposite things are happening in his conscious mind when a strange woman smiles at him. His new brain (where higher level thought processes occur) starts trying to reason out what is happening. All his past experiences are rapidly traced over to see if this makes sense. All his self-doubts, failures and mistakes are dug up to become part of the formula to reason out why this may be happening and if it is logically true that she is really interested in him. He also has to evaluate the tactics to be used to approach her and the consequences. (Maybe his wife and 3 kids may object!) In any case, he has to make a fast decision either to approach her or forget it. All this is going on while his body is raring to get started right there in the frozen food aisle of the supermarket. No wonder he looks confused!
In the late 1990s, Safeway, the second largest supermarket chain in the U.S., instructed its store employees to smile and greet customers with direct eye contact. In 1998, 12 female employees filed grievances over the chain's smile-and-eye-contact policy. What the smile with eye contact was bringing to them from male customers were numerous unwanted requests for dates!
The main point here is that a real smile is a powerful tool for enhancing relationships of all types. It is body language that says, "I like you and I am happy to see you." These are words everyone likes to hear. Even if you are not actually speaking those words, your smile will say them for you and that will make the other person especially happy to be with you.
| How to give your best smile |
The way you produce your smile also sends a message. A too fast smile and quick drop back to normal says you are not very sincere. But to send a message with your smile that you are really very pleased and honored to see a person is possible with the correct timing. Here is how to give an unforgettable smile to a friend.
The main point is to go slow and let your smile grow with sincerity. |
| Send a link to a friend |