You understand that deep in your DNA is a need for a strong male to help you complete your biological destiny -- even though for now all you are interested in is making a new friend. So on your list of priorities in a male, at the top is a good relationship with an 'alpha male' in good health. The researchers call it alpha male or 'male dominance status'. To you it simply means that you want someone who is capable of taking care of himself and you in a mature, well-socialized and confident way. Alpha males see what they want and they confidently go after it. (You, in this case!) Such an attitude in a male implies that he can take care of himself, plus protect you and the kids. You like that!
(Read more on 'What Is An Alpha Male' later.)
Let him in a little at a time. But watch him!
Now that he is closer, you can read his body language much better and even watch his eyes and facial expressions change. These body language cues will give you a lot more information about him. You will watch his body language cues closely as the conversation centers around what areas of interests you two have in common.
Men define themselves and their personal worth in the world mostly by their job or career. That is coming from their old-brain and is hunter-superiority being expressed. So let him brag about his job and imagined importance. It may reveal how inferior and insecure he really feels. And besides, he will think he is impressing you with his importance. Just listen, nod, and learn a lot about his true value to you as a possible mate. But don't believe a word he says. He is just telling "hunting stories" and strutting like a peacock doing his mating dance. This is just common male ancient behavior coming from male DNA. The more educated and socialized a man is, the less it occurs.
Women are more interested in how a man understands and treats them. Deep in the female limbic system part of the old brain there is always the question about every new male: "Is he willing and capable of taking care of me and the kids when we need him?" "Does he have the skill and resources to make a good life for us?" "Will he hang around after he gets what he wants?" These questions will never be asked openly, but they are there in the woman's subconscious mind every minute of the relationship. In women's DNA there is a high priority placed on quality relationships.
How honest and open you are with each other will determine how fast you close the emotional and physical space between you both. Let's assume that the friendly talk continues in a socialized way between you two. The discussion now progressively brings you both emotionally closer. You feel more comfortable with him as he seems to really listen to you. He doesn't try to impress you by dominating the conversation. He looks into your eyes as you speak and doesn't glance around the room at the other women. He even gives a little head nod and a verbal "uh huh" as he validates your statements. That is pretty exceptional because, compared to women, men tend to dominate the conversation, interrupt more, speak half as many words a day, make less eye contact, do teasing to show interest, and are more sarcastic and argumentative. So far this guy doesn't seem too bad in these areas.
While you two talk, you watch his eyes to see if his eye pupils (the center dark clear area) change size. Eye pupils will dilate (open larger) when people are interested or like you. The pupils constrict (close more) when looking at someone uninteresting or someone disliked. 
Much enlarged pupils unconsciously signal sexual interest! Watch his eye pupils. If they are large like these, you are doing great! Keep up the good work.
Is he 'in tune' with you?
When two people are disinterested or not well attuned to each other, their bodies sit or stand at angles to each other. At the right, notice that the man is facing her directly, slightly leaning toward her and has uncrossed legs. On the other hand, she is turned slightly away, legs are crossed and she is sitting back as far as the chair allows.
When two people are feeling comfortable with each other, interested and well attuned, they will unconsciously re-organize how they are sitting to more directly face and mirror each other. Notice how these two at the right are mirroring each other.
In this scene with the guy who approached you, check to see if the two of you are doing mirroring. Change your body position and see if he follows. If so, then for sure you are ready to move on to step 4.
Summary so far in Step 3, Using Female Body Language in Flirting and Dating:
You have accepted him into your space and he has acted well socialized. He talks and listens to you with interest and respect. He seems to appreciate a quality relationship. You both have found some common ground that you can share and use to further an on-going relationship. There are possibilities for future activities together in some of your shared interests. You have decided not to reject him and to further the flirting to the next step in this developing relationship. You are ready to move on to Step 4.
| Step 1 | Step 2 |
Step 3 (You are here.) |
Go to Step 4. | Step 5 |