Step 2: How to Bring Him
Closer for Evaluation

Body Language logo

A Quote to Make You Smile:

"I believe that sex is one of the most beautiful, natural, wholesome things that money can buy."
-- Steve Martin

Your Body Language Signal Gets Results

S
tep 2 is to close the physical and emotional distance between you both so you can evaluate him. This is done by getting him to come physically closer to talk with you. Your long eye contact, smile, and looking down was an ancient body language cue that invited him to come talk to you. If he is the strong and brave type guy most women want, he will get your body language message and decide to approach you with his opening line.

Get Ready to Welcome Him

When you see that he is going to come over to you, look him in the eyes and give him a gentle welcoming smile. That will greatly relieve his fear of possible rejection.

As he approaches, you will unconsciously read his body language as he walks toward you. A woman's DNA is finely tuned to watch every man's body language as he approaches. Women have had to do this for millions of generations and make quick decisions to stick around or escape! The first and deepest instincts are to watch for signs of danger and possible sexual attack from every man approaching.

The decision-making wisdom is in women's genes and they can detect danger far away by the man's body language. So in this case, you instinctively watch his body language as he walks toward you. You watch to see how relaxed, confident and comfortable he is in this social situation. You are unconsciously watching to see if he moves and behaves like the well socialized man is expected to be doing in your culture and society.

Make it Easy for Him to Approach You

When he is close enough to talk to you, face him directly, look at him with a gentle welcoming smile and wait for his "opening line". If he is doing his body language right, he will approach you and look into your eyes, and with a pleasant gentle smile, he will speak to you. Hopefully, he should essentially only say who he is (his name) and ask if he can talk with you. Background Discover More . . .

Now Start Your Evaluation of Him Up Close

  • Look for confidence and cool power as an Alpha Male.
    Good posture and smooth movements are a good sign. Head up, chest out and gut sucked in. It is good if he does NOT have a weird personalized strut or walk with arms flailing about as he looks around to see who is watching him. What you want to see is him calmly (not in high stress), comfortably and confidently (Alpha Male type) walking up to you with eye contact and a smile.

  • Look for good health, alertness, and aliveness.
    His physical appearance and voice will reveal a lot. Should you two eventually mate, fifty percent of your offspring's chromosomes are going to be his. So his health and strength are very important to your unconscious evaluation of him as a suitable mate for a long time. A deep voice is a sign of testosterone and you will notice that subconsciously right away. It will make your hormones kick in!

  • Watch for signs of being a good protector and provider.
    Physical strength plus good clothes and possessions may give a clue. What you are unconsciously (Maybe consciously!) looking for is someone who is capable of providing well for you and the offspring when you need support. You will be on the lookout for how generous and resourceful he is over the long run. Rich is nice, but seldom happens, so stop dreaming. You will be on the lookout for how much he values you. You will watch for how nurturing and attentive he is to your needs and desires.

  • Notice if he is socialized and functions confidently out in public.
    He should be comfortable and confident in this social setting. Watch to see if he is truly focused on you and not looking around at other women or only your breasts.

    Notice if he keeps his social distance or if he invades your personal intimate space and makes you feel invaded. This check of his body language will be important for your analysis of what type of guy he is. Controlling, pushy and manipulative guys move uninvited into your personal space right away. Use caution with these guys and escape as soon as you can.

About Women Shaking Hands

Whether to extend your hand for a handshake depends on the culture and environment. It is sometimes the polite thing to do, and it can provide a lot of extra hidden information about the other person. Background Discover More . . .

Now Start Gathering Data

Hopefully by now you have read enough of his body language to feel safe enough to continue talking. So now you want to find out how interesting he is and if he has interests similar to yours. The talk should now center around data gathering and finding common interests. What you are really interested in, is how you each live your life in order to determine if you two have a good chance for long term compatibility -- or at least some fun together for a short time. That is your main interest at this step in finding a mate. However, maybe all he is interested in is how you look naked and how soon he can "climb on your bones". (Guys are wired differently than women, in case you haven't noticed!)

This data gathering communication process is more difficult than it appears, and it is the point where the connection between you both can abruptly break off. This may not be news to you: men don't think like women. Therefore to make the best impression on him (and maybe to even "get through to him") you need to talk differently to him than you do to your women friends. Research Learn More . . .

Summary So Far in Step 2:
How to Bring Him Closer for Evaluation

You have gotten his attention, given him a signal that it is safe to approach you, and welcomed him into your space. Now you two must do some data gathering and find common ground on which to build a continuing relationship. Your evaluation of him will be based a lot on his body language. He will also be watching your body language, so use it to your advantage in the next steps.

OK, if he has not turned out to be a Neanderthal you are ready to move on to Step 3.

Step 1 Step 2
(You are here.)
Go to Step 3 Step 4 Step 5

 

Recommended Books. Search on Amazon.com for details and discount.


(Search a few words of title.)

-- The Power of Body Language by Tonya Reiman.

-- Male Body Language for Lovers.

-- Body Language + Face Reading + Auras by Rose Rosetree.

-- The Little Book of Flirting: Seven Days to Being a Great Flirt.

-- Flirting Guide for Women.

-- Men Are From Cyberspace: The Single Woman's Guide To Flirting, Dating & Love.

-- Winning Body Language: by Mark Bowden.

-- Girls' Guide to Guys: Straight Talk on Flirting.

-- The Body Language Handbook: by Gregory Hartley.

-- Female Body Language Secrets.

-- Male Body Language That Attracts Women.

-- Teach Yourself Body Language.

-- Use the New Body Language to Get What You Want! by Janine Driver.

-- Self Improvement Of Relationship Skills Through Body Language.

-- Body Language in Flirting.

-- Female Body Language That Attracts Men.

-- Correct Body Language for Young Women.

-- Correct Body Language for Young Men.

-- The Secret Language of Success: Using Body Language to Get What You Want.

-- Love Signals: A Practical Field Guide to the Body Language of Flirting and Courtship.

-- Body Language: How To Understand The Unspoken Language Of The Body.

-- Body Language in Relationships.

-- Girls' Guide for Flirting: Straight Talk on Flirting.

-- Flirting Made Easy.

-- Secrets and Science of Body Language at Work by Carol Goman Ph.D.

-- The Secret Language of Flirting

-- Reading People: How to Understand People and Predict Their Behavior with Body Language.

-- Flirting Secrets of a Pro.

-- Body Language for Flirting.

-- Fine Art of Flirting.

-- Body Language Secrets: A Guide for Flirting and Courtship.

-- Male Body Language Secrets.

-- Complete Idiot's Guide to Body Language.

-- Spot the Messages and Emotions People Are Really Sending With Their Body Language by Gregory Hartley.

-- Love Signals: A Practical Field Guide to the Body Language of Flirting.

-- Body Language: How To Understand The Unspoken Language Of The Body.

-- Secrets of Sexual Body Language.

-- Understanding Body Language.

-- Body Language in Love and Romance.

-- Flirting With Danger.

-- The Girls' Guide to Guys: Straight Talk for Teens on Flirting and Dating.

-- Facts About Flirting.

-- The Truth About Flirting.

-- Superflirt.

-- How to Use Flirting Body Language.

-- Flirting 101: How to Charm Your Way to Love, Friendship, and Success.

-- What Southern Women Know About Flirting: The Fine Art of Courtship and Seductive Flirting.

-- Flirting Guide for Men.

© Copyright 2005, revised 2009 by Larry Rodrigues
All rights reserved world wide.

Male and Female Body Language Logo


Site Map and Links
Everyone Uses Body Language
The Five Steps Women Use to Pickup a Man
The Five Steps a Man Uses to Pickup a Woman
Body Language Flirting Pictures
Body Language Flirting Tactics
Lying or Honest Body Language?
Other Body Activities for Fun and Pleasure
About us: EastWestInstitute for Self-Understanding
Bookmark and Share