Here are some of the basic rules in finding a mate.
- The drive to find a mate is very powerful in nearly every species. (Some plants and plantlike organisms are examples of asexual reproduction that do not need two parents.) The natural and strong drive in all species is to have sex to reproduce offspring with one's own DNA.
- At puberty, many young men and women start experimenting and practicing how to attract prospective mates. Each looks to others in their culture to learn what is acceptable behavior. Movies and TV offer examples of behavior, but they might not be acceptable in all cultures. The learning process for young people has many disappointments as well as exhilarating surprises.
- Women learn at an early age that men are attracted to signs of youthfulness, good health, and sexual fertility (read "sexy"). Men learn to attract women by displaying their strength (ability to protect family) and potential to provide resources for a family.
- Generally, women want the experience of courting several men before getting married so they can pick the best one. In nearly every species the female's best choice male has the characteristics that will produce the strongest and healthiest offspring as well as protect her and the offspring to ensure their survival. In many species, the male's physical condition, body language, and behavior are primary factors the female uses to pick her mate for breeding.
- In one experiment, some peahens (female peacocks) were given the choice of two males. One had a perfect tail and the other had some of the feathers purposely slightly damaged. The peahens nearly always accepted the peacock with the more perfect tail. It appears physical perfection is important to peahens. This implies good health is a priority.
- Surveys of women in most western cultures reveal their preferences in men to be mostly for protectiveness and an abundance of resources. It appears that the basic unconscious drive in most women is to find a mate to protect and help raise the children.