Background comment
The following is descriptive of men's needs as programmed in their DNA from evolutionary selection choices by ancestors over the past million years or so. Our ancestors lived in a world that was dangerous and very different than our world is today. However, much of the ancient male programming for mate selection that worked best for our earliest male ancestors is still used by men. And it shows in our body language even today!
This article will now focus on how in today's world our 'old brain' is still programmed for living, surviving and raising offspring in ancient times nearly a million years ago. This 'old brain' and its DNA programming are still strong influences on every man's relationship with women today.
Men are very visual
Men and women look for different characteristics in each other when seeking a mate. The bottom line is that each man or woman is ultimately seeking the best partner to produce the healthiest offspring with their DNA. Species without this strong drive soon become extinct. Research indicates men's most desired characteristics in women are primarily physical. Below is what men look for in an ideal mate.
- Young and healthy. A young, healthy female has the best probability of conceiving and producing healthy offspring. Therefore for best success in passing on their genes in offspring, men have a preference for young healthy women. Characteristics associated with youth and health are these:
- Breasts full, firm and not sagging.
- Rounded hips and slim waist. (70% ratio is most desired.)
- Long legs. (Adolescent's legs grow faster than their body so long legs implies youth.)
- Small lower part of face with full lips, high cheek bones and long neck.
- Large eyes and small nose.
- Long healthy hair.
- Flat belly.
- Hemispherical buttocks and arched back.
- Men of all ages show a preference for symmetrical and proportional young women.
- Symmetrical and well proportioned physical features are what we call 'good looking'. 'Good looking' implies minimum chromosome damage and therefore healthier offspring.
- Youth also ensures less chromosome damage. The older the mother, the greater the probability of producing offspring with genetic problems.
A waist that is 70% of her hip measurement.
- Research in many cultures worldwide revealed men prefer the woman whose waist is 70% of her hip measurement. In research, this 70% ratio was men's first choice no matter what her total weight was.
- This 70% ratio implies youthful high fertility and is pretty good assurance that she is not already pregnant by another man.
Men are visual hunters
Man, the hunter, has a mental image of the desired ideal woman and he is always using his eyes to search for her, the same way he would hunt a zebra or mastodon. Men hunt visually. That is why men enjoy pictures of women so much. Women know that men prefer young, good looking, healthy females, so women use makeup to conceal signs of aging and poor health. A youthful healthy body is emphasized in every way possible. The 26 billion dollar beauty aids industry relies on women's need for products to make them appear to be young, healthy and fertile. Clothes, makeup, hair, high heel shoes, facial gestures, and body movements are used in ways to emphasize femaleness, healthiness and sexual maturity to get the attention of men. Add to that some outright flirting and males of all ages will follow them to get some action!
The game is the same at any age
After the child-bearing years, the outward conscious goal to find a mate may be for other reasons than producing children. However, that DNA inherited need to pass on our genes in offspring is a strong drive that is always within us. Even after our child-bearing years are over, the desire for a mate with the same characteristics for producing offspring continues to drive us in mate selection. Most women always seek a man who is strong and caring with a lot of resources to make a good home -- and 'good looking' is not important. Most men at any age are always attracted to a healthy, young, 'good looking' female. It seems that the software that drives our internal unconscious mental 'computer' for mate selection does not come with software upgrades for after menopause!
The mate selection criteria remains the same for most males and females at all ages even though sex drive changes. Recent research on long-term sexual motivation in both men and women reveals these differences:
- Most men's sex drive remains relatively constant as they age. Even when the male machinery brakes down and no longer stands up to the task, the desire remains strong until the brain declines due to disease. (It really is all in the head!)
- Most women's drive increases with age up to age 30. After that there is usually a steady decline in desire. The research showed only 20 percent of women age 50 were interested in as much activity as they had in their thirties.