'Alpha Male' body language
for flirting and dating.

What is an 'Alpha Male' that all female animals and women instinctually prefer?

Male animals living in packs, such as wolves and wild dogs, compete to be the leader of the pack. This is nature's selection process that brings the strongest and smartest male to the leadership position. Every pack has a leader who dominates and leads the other members of the pack. The leader is known as the Alpha Male. The Alpha Male has a mate called the Alpha Female. These two are the only pair that breed in a wolf pack. All the other members of the pack form a hierarchy of dominance and submission where everyone has a place. This Alpha Male-Alpha Female system, with variations in other species, has benefitted group survival and continuation of the species because leadership is by the strongest, healthiest and smartest member of the group.

When the term Alpha Male is applied to a man it refers to a type of man who is strong, smart and a leader. Other males respect his decisions and don't challenge him. An Alpha Male looks and behaves in ways that make it evident that he is the leader and not to be challenged. He moves and stands in ways that show he expects to get what he wants without being questioned or challenged. The Alpha Male looks in all ways a little better than the rest of the males. He stands out subtly as cleaner, neater, stronger, healthier, smarter and more aggressive than the other males.

Every type of female (animal and human) who mates with the Alpha Male type has the best chance of successfully raising healthy offspring. This has been true for millions of years. Therefore, female DNA programming is tuned for all females to be attracted to the Alpha Male type.

The Alpha Male's body language says it all. He is strong but 'strong' doesn't mean a lot of muscles. It means a male who gets around in the world by himself and gets what he wants through confidence, courage, intellect and high determination. He moves slowly and deliberately with no wasted motions. He stands proudly erect, relaxed in all situations. He is generous, outgoing and cheerful with everyone, for he has no worries. He has confidence that he will get everything he wants, so petty problems and inconveniences are ignored and accepted without outbursts of anger or emotion. He is emotionally stable and strong.

An Alpha Male establishes his 'territory' and holds it as long as he wants it. This may only be a couple of square feet in a room. His relaxed and confident body language says he is comfortable there and plans to hold his territory. This is done unconsciously for two reasons: (1) To scare other males off and (2) to show the females that he is strong and is an Alpha Male. Instinctually for survival reasons, females seek an Alpha Male who can protect her and will help her raise strong healthy offspring.

Men can display some of their Alpha Maleness by consciously creating better body posture. Standing or sitting erect with chest out, head up, gut sucked in and arms relaxed and not flailing about are signs of dominance and Alpha Maleness. Moving only when necessary and moving slowly and deliberately indicate great self confidence, pride and determination. And as an Alpha Male, be sure always to display the following behavior patterns.

1. Aggression. This does not mean be argumentative, belligerent and ready to fight! It means be dynamic and do what needs to be done in a mature, well-socialized way. Also, not to passively wait for her to give you clues on what you should do next.
2. Assertiveness. Communicate what you really want in a clear fashion, respecting your own rights, feelings and the rights and feelings of others
3. Courage. Be ready and willing to confidently tackle every problem and see it resolved.
4. Persistence. Keep focused on goals and apply all resources until goals are achieved.

Interesting research finds that males, especially young ones in teenager years, compete in many subtle ways for a perceived Alpha Male position on sport teams, gangs, or in neighborhoods. One way they demonstrate their Alpha Maleness is by taking risks and doing dangerous things. Risk-takers are advertising their fitness to potential mates by showing off their strength and bravery. The surprising results of the research were reported in "Evolution and Human Behavior", vol 26, p 171. "Men thought women would be impressed by pointless gambles, but women in fact preferred cautious men." And that makes sense because females need a live mate to help raise the offspring and not a dead hero. Intelligence is one of the characteristics of a true Alpha Male and risk taking is a dumb thing to do for long survival.

Male pack behavior is all too evident in sports bars. Watch the men jointly cheer and shout at a common enemy: the opposing team or referee. If you watch them a short time from the rear of the bar you will easily identify the Alpha Male in the group. He will lead the attack and the others will be following his lead for who to cheer and who to jointly attack, at least verbally. Jointly released loud shouts and swearing helps the men to release stress and form comfortable bonds with a sense of belonging and support from the group.

Not every man is a natural Alpha Male and those who are not cannot fake it. So what do the Beta Males do to be accepted? A good plan for both Alpha and Beta Males (and Females) is to always work on self-improvement and self-understanding. Books, magazine articles, workshops, seminars and college classes are abundant and never ending on the subject. Just showing interest in genuine self-improvement and self-understanding is an admirable characteristic. A Beta Male who is working on self-understanding and self-improvement may be a better choice for a mate in the long run than the Alpha Male.

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